"I Want My Old Wife Back, I Miss Her"

I really thought I would stay away from my blog till after New Orleans, which by the way is now 4 days away. I had to vent my thoughts though. In addition it will be beneficial to me to have my vast amount of feelings documented. Remember this ol' post hurdles? I had one more hurdle this past weekend. I got sick, and spent the weekend in bed. I'm feeling pretty much back to good, just some sniffles and cough left over. I feel like negativity just gravitates to this 1/2 Ironman.

Usually I'm picking on Shane for his negativity. I am optimistic by nature with just the right amount of realism mixed in. Shane is the complete opposite. He got the nickname Schleprock from a friend. I often call him by that nickname when he starts with the negativity. Schleprock is the cartoon character that walks around with the storm cloud over his head. We usually laugh about it. Then there I was feeling like fucking Schleprock for the past 4 months.

Honestly, I guess some part of me never truly full heartily believed in New Orleans 1/2 Ironman happening. There was the constant nursing of injury, never feeling great, each ride chipping away at my confidence, my own realistic self esteem, and just dealing with life in general. I wanted more then ever to believe I would cross that finish line. Yesterday I looked at my BlackBerry calender to see a huge blank scheduled for this weekend. Let me give you a quick lesson in organized, OCD Viv. I put everything in that damn calender. If I could predict my shit time it would be in that calender with a 15 minute reminder alert. Yet, there it was free time clearly obvious to me.

I spent an entire week debating with myself about going forward with the race. I knew I was under trained some due to things out of my control plus others I could have controlled. I would have to be 110% for this race then being sick made me really question it. I would spend most of the last couple of weeks tossing and turning. I would wake up with a headache from stress only to keep it all day long from the looming question, to tri or not to tri?? I have not even been able to enjoy all the excitement that goes with a race this big because of all my doubtful negativity. I had a plan, finish Ironman 70.3 then dedicate more time to family who dearly needs me. Take life more in moderation. Get back to WeWa, get the rest of this weight off, learn a new format to teach in the gym, maintain friendships, let the over use injuries calm down, work on strengthening, flexibility. Not have the pressures I was putting on myself for this longer distance. Work on it all but in moderation.

If I did not move forward without even trying the 70.3 distance this weekend after all the hurdles I jumped it would all be pointless. I know there are other 1/2 Ironman's this is not the only one this year, but I am not planning to attack the distance again this year. I would close the book on this distance without even trying to write the final chapter. I came to conclusion that I would regret more not trying then I would to try but not complete the distance(the distance has an 8hr course limit). My heart, mind, and soul needs to try to move forward with the rest of my plans versus mourning the what if's.

So, it is official I will go out there an give it my best. I am going to have fun this weekend. I have Shane, friends, training partners ,my buddies who will be blowing up the BlackBerry all there to support me. No matter what goes down it will be a great weekend with the biggest hurricanes I can possibly suck out of a straw or two! I am pretty sure after this weekend Shane will get his wife back only tougher.

So many lovely cards e-mail texts, comments....
I still can't believe how many people have reached out to me.
Your thoughts will be with me this weekend.
Thank You!

FOCUS

It is time to really FOCUS.

I have been filling any free time with anything that keeps me from thinking of the reality of what is to come. When I do think of it fear consumes my mind. Every time someones asks about the "big day" I get a nerve stricken look on my face. It is much easier to ignore the quickly coming event then deal with the reality of it. It's is time to play this day in my mind over and over. When I do this course on April 5th it should seem like deja vu, like I have swam, ridden, run this course before.

I want to thank you all for the support you show me. You say I inspire you but seriously you guys inspire me. I printed all the comments from my last post and put it with race maps to read when I lose focus.

I hope to come back here in 12 days and tell you I AM IRONMAN 70.3!

Road Blocks or Hurdles

Wow, this is the longest I have ever been away from my blog. I wonder if anybody still skips through here or abandoned me for dead. I did get quite a few e-mails from people showing concern. Thank you for caring, it means a lot to me that you took the time to reach out.

It has been a rough few months. As some may know I tore my right calf muscle over Thanksgiving. After 6 weeks off of all activity and physical therapy I thought I was in the clear. Only to begin having trouble with the left calf. With the injury, I take one step forward and two steps back. I have a fabulous physical therapist who is also a triathlete and a friend. With her help I have been nursing it twice a week. For every run there is a PT session to follow. I also use the term run very loosely. A run for me is now classified as 5R/1W at a controlled pace. If I go out too fast the calf seizes up and the whole run is scrapped. The runs average between 12:30-14:20 minute paces. That also means things like bricks rarely if at all happen in my training. Since, it would mean running on consecutive days, which sends me many steps back. No speedwork nothing crazy...So, in other words it is a keeping it "healthy enough" till New Orleans 70.3. Needless to say, I will be going in more than a little under trained in the running department.

There were also family concerns that tested me during these past few months. My Lil' Buster got some freaky virus that did not allow him to walk when he woke up one morning. It was a huge scare! It took about a week before he was back to his normal self. I did miss one or two workouts, not much really. It did require me to leave Shane in charge in the evenings so I can go for my workouts. Doing that added a lot of stress on me mentally. I felt like a bad mom leaving Lil' Buster when he needed me for my selfish goals and aspirations. Also, the weekends are my LONG workouts that have me gone most of the mornings and leave me drained physically. My family is used to my upbeat chipper self. My parents are super ol' school they really don't understand my being away from home for all this training. My mom especially, she says, "I am a stay at home mom who really is not at home." Yes, I am one of those people who needs approval from her family, especially my mothers. It added a lot of stress to my mind. It had me questioning is all this for that really worth it.

I am accustomed to keeping a clean home, dinners on the table in the evening, bills paid, sending thank you notes with little hearts over the i's, not forgetting a birthday, thoughtful friend, all things get done when Viv is large and in charge. Yep, your usual Mrs. Cleaver with a little attitude. It is me though and being a neat/control freak and on top of my game keeps me sane. That was all quickly slipping. I forgot everything. When things are due, friends birthdays, introducing people that have shared dinners at my home together, bathtubs so nasty that I loathed taking a shower at home, beds never got made, laundry would stack up to no end. In the mix of all this my suburbia SUV blew up costing thousands to fix. Also, home renovations were going on to. You know how that goes, one word summation CHAOS. We had wood floors put in and a few paint changes with a few other lovely upgrades. Upon completion there was the kind of dust that lingered in a thick haze. I was breaking down at everything. My temperament quickly changed. It was like, Vivian what are we having for dinner? My explosive response would be, "dinner,what the fuck dinner? Mind you the explosive responses it does not take much to put you on the receiving end of something like this. I know a lot of my anger was displaced with the true fear of knowing that I had contonous inner doubt about completing Ironman 70.3.

Then there is all the eating. My stress levels have me eating in an out of control manner. I have put on 10lbs. + the 30lbs I am already trying to take off from this past winter has me with my lip up but unwilling to get down to it and get under control. I have to be mentally ready and right now I am not there. It does piss me off that last summers running shorts don't come over my thighs. This is also making the physical activity a bit more struggling. My body carrying more weight does not help the whole balancing a watermelon on toothpick theory.

Yesterday, was my rock bottom. After taking it too easy on last weeks vacation only doing open water swims. I came home with the desire to do nothing. I was supposed to do my long bike ride on Monday but Lil' Buster came home with a horrible ear infection and perforated ear drum accompanied with several sleepless nights. I had to keep him home to take care of him. So Tuesday it was going to be the morning to hit up a swim, and you guessed nope. By late afternoon I put my pj's on with no intention of anymore workouts hoping Wednesday spin class would get a bit of life in me. Only because I work that class if not there would be no intention of that either. I posted on my facebook how I had no ganas (no desire) in Spanish. Several of my friends encouraged me to get out there. Even my dear coach hit me up with a guilt stricken, "so does this mean we won't see you at track tonight?" She knows what track means to me. It is my favorite group workout. Not that I am doing any speedwork now but seeing the gang, watching everyone work so hard, pushing each other to new levels is always encouraging. It is also the place where healthy I see my fastest paces. It is always promising to see improvement in my running. In fact I can usually be seen smiling when healthy at track. Key word running my first love who has been trying to break up with me as of late.

Tri sis posted a comment on facebook, long winded but this was the zinger for me, "If you have decided to blow off New Orleans then make it public." Was I ready to make it public to all of you but most of all to myself. A friend told me yesterday, "you have come this far and are 3 weeks out why quit now?" I feel I have really not come that far at all. I have struggled with the run training the entire time. The bike has really been no piece of cake either but all prep work nonetheless. So, if I threw in the towel with less then 3 weeks to go. All the sacrifices, hard work, expletives, tears, anger, challenges, blood(ok no blood really but it worked to intensify the drama), ice, physical therapy, time away from family, it would have been for nothing. Nothing but to know that I gave up. That when the road less traveled had road blocks I shut off the engine. I did not look for an alternate route, I just pulled over and threw my arms up. My Lil' Buster asks on sporadic occasions, "Mommy, when are you going to be an Ironman" (I don't have the heart to tell him I will be 1/2 of an Ironman, LOL). How do I tell him next time he asks that Mommy will not be an Ironman. I refuse to pull over and turn off the engine.

I will take those road blocks as hurdles and keep jumping them all the way to the finish line. It will not be easy and that morning I am sure I will still have more fear than ever. The fear has stared already when I think of a 7-8 hour day on April 5th. I mean I know people who can't work a desk job that long without a lunch break or at least a smoke break. No breaks for me though. I will be striving to reach my goal of becoming Ironman 70.3. If my health deteriorates or something I have no control over happens that day or leading up to, I will understand that my goal has been postponed not abolished.

If it is 13.1 miles holding me back from the finish line then I will get there.

Animal I Am Becoming....

I apologize in advance for my lack of being around. I find myself being tapped out for extra time. My family & friends don't get to see or talk to me much either, which given my attitude lately they may consider it a blessing. I have a short window of time where I am a decent human being. I go from an endorphin high, to emotional, to grouchy, to sleepy. At my Mom's birthday gathering yesterday I would have classified myself in a comatose state, no doubt. Some people are lucky to balance it all, but for me it is a challenge. The people around me know how much New Orleans Ironman 70.3 means so they try to keep how they feel about it behind my back. Sometimes they can't help it and I have to deal with the comments like, "are you getting paid for this?" Or, "maybe you are not built to do this.", and my fave "your body can't handle it."

Negativity be gone, I am thrilled to have an "off" day today. Which means I am about to head out to Costco and buy in bulk to celebrate. I am learning very quickly that these next 7 weeks will either make me or break me. I am also learning that a solid real outdoor bike ride makes me develop the rare form of Tourettes where I yell profanities. I was getting creative with that on the 41 mile ride Saturday. At one point I made myself chuckle with the outburst of, "suck my left nut you cocky fuckball!" Funny, I didn't remember that left nut when putting on my tri shorts that morning. The open road can be so nerving. Yet, at the same time when you have a great clip going, minimal traffic, nothing but a clear road with the sun shining it quickly becomes the most exhilarating feeling to me. I feel at one with my bike and the road.

My running, ummm... I should save that for a post titled, "Running Rehab". Another post coming soon is, "WeWa Points on Long Training Days. Where The Hell Do They Go?"

Still Trying To Believe....
Saturday's 02/07 Workout:
AM Bike 41miles 2:39 15.5mph
Sunday's 02/08 Workout:
AM Run 4miles 0:54 2min run/1min walk

and The Kitchen Sink...

(most pics are on my or my friends facebook)
So, I have been busy.... SoCal was primo! There is so many great stories to be told. Like, how only I recognize that chick from "The Real World" is grabbing me a margarita. Or, that bitch with "The Stick" at the expo who left a goose egg on my forehead. Oh, and for some reason I would only order wine in even number increments. Yea, and that almost ending up out in Tijuana with Karen & Yas, which woulda turned out to have a donkey involved fo' sho. How my girl, Misty still got a hella PR on her 1/2 at Surf City even though I remember saying sumfin' about it's still early drink another one. Yep, the dancing on the bed, in elevators, hallways and anywhere I had space. Watching the Super Bowl and the amazing sunset in Laguna. Adding new friends to my Face Book then deleting them as soon as I got home. Finally meeting POM in person, by the way I could totally develop a girl crush on her. Falling asleep Al Bundy style at the hotel. Avoiding strangulation from my friends by 1 lucky earplug. Or how I crunched on our waitress with a fake n bake heart tatt; holla she even put our total on the bill with lil' hearts. A couple with tails in Laguna. Thoughts of being an Orange County girl not a housewife though. Oh, and that waitress in Newport who had never seen a clean plate. Yea, and how being the thickest chick in SoCal totally made me lose my appetite, I lost 5lbs. All the triathletes on the PCH that I would ogle at. Have I mentioned the surfers?? Like, I totally skimmed over the 5K I walked most of. I am still in that SoCal state of mind, so like whatevs. There was a grip of good times, but to you guys though it just sounds like a bunch of, and this one time in band camp kinda stories. I will leave it at, it was awesome and def doing it again next year.

fave super bowl commercial

Still Believing....

Friday's 01/30 Workout:

AM 1:00 spin class w/ cycle drills

Saturday's 01/31 Workout:

AM 1:33 endurance ride on spin bike

Sunday's 02/01 Workout:

AM 0:48 run/walk

Monday's 02/02 Workout:

off

Tuesday's 02/03 Workout:

AM 1:00 spin class w/ cycle drills

PM 0:42 run/walk

Wednesday's 02/04 Workout:

AM 1:00 spin class w/ cycle drills

PM 1:00 swim total= 1500y

Thursday's 02/05 Workout:

AM strength training

PM 0:58 swim total= 1550y

Friday's 02/06 Workout:

PM 1:15 spin class

Things I've Noticed About Cali

1-People are pretty chill. Most people I have come across have the "whatevs" attitude.

2-Cyclist are respected. Most of the major street have their own bike line and parking on shoulders are restricted for their safety.

3-Tons of surfers.

4-A lot of the "beautiful people".

5- There is a radio station dedicated to fitness/health talk.

6-As warm as it may be during the day it will be chilly at night.

7-Most drinks at the bar lack liquor. Stick to wine...

8-Everything is way more expensive.

9-The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf rocks my world.

10-Not uncommon to have a reality TV star serve your drinks.


--Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T--

"California Dreamin" "California Girls" "Hotel California" "California Love" "Californication"....

I am stoked and yea, like I could pretty much name songs about California all day long today. I hope it's way more primo than this post card. It looks hella tripped out 70's here. This weekend started out as a meet up between a group of bettys while running a 1/2 marathon. The running part has changed a bit for me but I am sure I will have a maxed out gnarley time! Don't get bent I still plan on keeping up with my ironman 70.3 training. Did you forget? I WANT IT ALL!

I'm out & thanks for believing in me....

Keeping it real

Wednesday's Workout:
AM spin class with force drills 1hr
PM masters swim total=1500y

Thursday's Workout:

AM swim total= 1600y

PM strength training

Believe: to have confidence in the reliability of something Doubt: to hesitate to believe

Have you ever shared too much with someone and due to their lack of a response you realize you maybe said too much? That is why I usually keep the things that are close to me, close to me. I have been avoiding the blog to not spill open like a dam who lost it's barrier wall.

I have had a rough past month at home. Things would happen get better then something else would happen. I would try to smile through it and stay positive but my breaking point was near. I know, I know, that is called L-I-F-E. There was just not a lot of recovery time between episodes, making it tough to handle. I know in my heart that things could be worst and unfortunately for many it is worst. I still have to work on handling tough times better but we all deal in our own way. I like a normal food addict return to my terrible habits of eating and several alcoholic beverages.

Amongst things I was going through I began to doubt the chance of doing Ironman New Orleans 70.3. Let's face it I did not have a solid "off" tri season. I was injured, healing a calf tear while everyone else was continuing their running and cross training. I had to stop cycling for 4 weeks. In addition there had been no running since Thanksgiving (8 weeks). Sure I could have used this time to improve my swimming. Well, I didn't work on improving my swim. It was easier to fall into my vicious circle of food and tons of socials with drinks. Then the reality set in.... I began to think who am I to think I have a strong enough base to pull a 1/2 Ironman out of my ass. Let's be real, it is a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike, ending it off with a 1/2 marathon. The 1/2 marathon is just the final step of this 3 discipline challenge. A stand alone 1/2 marathon is what I did not get to do in Houston a couple of weeks ago and even more like the one I will not be doing in California this weekend. There it is in writing, the reality.

Here is the thing though, I BELIEVE.

Have you really believed in something so much that in your mind you couldn't see it any other way? Have you believed so undeniably that you actually see yourself accomplishing it over and over again?

I believe it so confidently that every time I doubt myself the thought is followed up by a vision of crossing the finish line in New Orleans. I actually see myself stumbling over to get my medal with the final thought of toasting my family, friends, and teammates with a huge hurricane in my hand. That is how much I believe. There may be those that doubt including me at times, but I refuse to hesitate and not BELIEVE!

How I make it reality

Tuesday's Workout:

AM Swim total 1550 yards

PM Run 1st run since injury total 18 minutes Run 2min/ Walk 1min

Guest Blogger: Shane's Aramco Houston 1/2 Marathon Race Report

So, I forced asked da' man to write a race report about his first 1/2 marathon experience. Please welcome my guest blogger, my husband Shane. The man who has enough cojones to put up with me.

Editor in Chief note: I am also known as Vivian, which makes me feel like I am 83.
_______________________________________________________________

About twenty months ago, I was lying in bed consumed by the pain that was a result of a second back surgery in the same week. I had 2 herniated discs in my lower back (L4 & L5) that I developed from working 7 years in a warehouse, routinely lifting 100-lb boxes improperly. I struggled with the pain for years and thought I would never do anything athletic again in my life. Thanks to my wife’s inspiration and encouragement, all of that changed.

After the surgery, my physical therapist told me that I needed to lose my gut if I wanted to prevent further damage to my back. Vivian had recently started to run with a group and was like a kid in a candy store when she spoke about her running experiences. It didn’t take much to convince me to start running with her and burn some extra calories. I started slow at first; running a minute or two and then walking…I believe that all of you runners call this “…”. Soon, Vivian talked me into a 5K and believe it or not, I survived. Before long, she had me doing long runs…relatively speaking…8 miles is long to me OK! I couldn’t believe that I was actually running these distances. I played 4 years of high school football and we were all about sprints, so never before in my life had I run more than 2 consecutive miles and now after back surgery I was running 8 miles on the weekend…not to mention losing weight and feeling great. However, my back started to hurt after the long runs and my distances began to decline, as did my hope. At that time, I had already signed up for the Aramco Half-Marathon, but was wait listed and thought I would never get in and gave up hopes for running for fear of another surgery. Exactly 8 weeks before the marathon, I received an email informing me that I received a spot and had to respond within a couple of days or I would lose my bib. I decided that I would not use my back as an excuse or let it get in my way…in the words of my favorite band, Metallica, “what don’t kill you make you more strong.” I called Vivian and told her to make me a condensed training schedule for the marathon.

I started training and felt great, no issues, no pain and no problems. Then I got sick and missed a week of training…the week of my long run. Nonetheless, I bounced back after my sickness and got back into training. I ran my first 10 mile run on a treadmill because it was freezing outside and I didn’t want to risk getting a relapse of the flu. This was my longest run ever and it really sucked doing it on a treadmill, but I made it. Then I started having issues with one of my toes on my left foot, followed by major issues with my right ankle. Eventually, I ran through these issues and was pain free again. The next week, I did 10 miles in The Woodlands and loved it…my best run ever. I had tried out a new supplement, Cytomax, and it really lit a fire under me. This stuff is great and kept me moving and I don’t do a long run without it… By now, my taper started and I ran 8 miles the next weekend and 6 the following. The miles were logged and I was ready. I had lasagna with my son, Lil’ Buster on Friday, followed by seafood pasta prepared by my father-in-law on Saturday evening. Yeah, I know, a little over the edge on the carbo-loading, but it was a good excuse to eat ;) I drank way too many fluids on Saturday and paid the price during the race…see below.

Now it was time for the half-marathon. Although I had never trained at a pace under 12 minute miles, I set a goal for myself of a 02:30:00 half. Vivian dropped me off at the GRB around 6AM and I walked in, amazed by the number of people. I ran into an old schoolmate, Chandler, which I knew since Kindergarten. He was running the marathon with his sister that came in from Atlanta. It was nice to see him again. After an easy stretch and quick trip to the head, I was out the doors ready to go. Then I ran into one of Vivian’s running friends, Anna, who I met at last year’s marathon. She was with her friend Kate and we had a little small talk and photo session prior to the race. I wished them well and hit the head again…damn…I guess I was over hydrated, if that is possible. I was a little nervous because I had not yet run 13.1 consecutive miles and feared that by body would give out or my back would give me issues, but once I started running, all of those fears disappeared. The crowd was amazing and they kept me motivated, calling my name and cheering for all of the runners. Running up the first hill was a bit unexpected, but seeing the mass of runners helped get me through. The first four miles it smelt like a sewer, but it was nice to see all of the spectators in the neighborhood. I saw one house that had about 20 people outside getting an early start on their buzz…beer and champagne while cheering on the runners.

The miles went by quickly and seeing Vivian and my family and friends at mile 8 and again at mile 9.5, helped keep me motivated. My first mile was 11:40 and this set the pace; I remained under an 11:30 pace for the remaining 12.1 miles. I had no pain throughout the entire race, no shin splints, no issues with my ankle, and no back pain…nothing. But I did have one major issue; I had to piss like a race horse since mile 4 but did not want to stop. Besides, all of the facilities had lines of six plus people and I would never make my time if I stopped. In the end, my bladder got me and I sprinted into the stall a little after the 10 mile marker…that’s when my legs tightened up for the first time and my right hamstring felt like it was going to pop out of my leg. After about 3 minutes, which seemed like an eternity, I sprinted out and carried on with my pace, despite the hamstring issue. I finished the half-marathon in 02:29:47, just 13 seconds under my goal…what a sense of accomplishment. I also experienced a sense of dumbness when I went to get my medal. I walked up to the volunteers, as did the other finishers, and I asked for my medal. The volunteers just stood there staring and I wasn’t sure what the different medals signified. I asked whom to get the medal from and the volunteer said it didn’t matter. Unknowingly, I asked for the big round medal and was informed that those were for the FULL finishers…in the words of Psycho Robby…”that’s a cool feeling.” Then I went back inside the GBR to grab some food and ran into Team Strive, who have always made me feel welcome and given me encouragement…thanks!

The only thing I didn’t like was dodging in and out of all of the walkers and those who decided to stop directly in front of me for no reason. According to the Garmin, I logged an extra 0.25 miles from all of the zig zagg motion. Overall, I’m very pleased with the experience and the results. I’m ready for the next one and looking to drop my time by doing some real training…sprints, hills, etc. Thanks for reading and thanks to all of my family who helped me through this, especially my wife, Vivian.

#31486
SPRING, TX
Age: 31 Gender: M
2:29.47

Baby, I Got Your Back Right Here

Sorry I have been a shady blogger this week. I post, I post then I am back to busy. What are you busy with, Viv? Thought you would never ask....

I have been working out like a mad woman. I have been hitting up the spinning, strength training in addition to a swim for good fortune. I now know why I hate core work. I can't do my usual belly laughs without saying ouchie like a girly man.

Have you met this machine?

I had my first complaint at my spin class this morning, well 2 complaints. Don't all annoying things come in pairs?! One complained that the music was too loud. Is there such a thing?! I kinda thought I had it low for 5A. Anywhoo she put on ear plugs during Metallica, but wait here is the zinger. They thought one song was very vulgar. The culprit song, "Baby Got Back". Hello, that was on the radio like 20 years ago. I have actually even heard the elevator musiac version since then. Seriously in the day of Girls Gone Wild you got your cycling shorts in a wad over "Baby Got Back". I guess it is a good thing she does not take my night class. My night class is known to yell, "hell yeah mutha fucka" during Rob Zombie.

As you know my healing calf tear will not allow me to run in Houston this weekend. I will do my best to be the awesomist spectator I can be. Shane is running his first 1/2 marathon this weekend. He has agreed to do his first race report on my blog next week, so you will finally get to read one of my posts grammatically correct. I am totally stoked on cheering him on in addition to a bunch of friends and teammates. For my surf sistahs running in the PF AZ, I will be cheering from a distance for you all too!!

GOOD LUCK RUNNERS!!

Viv's Favorite Things Giveaway From Onlineshoes.com

Here is Lil' Buster picking the winner. I would have done it myself but letting the eyebrows grow in and it is a hideous process, OK lost you on the girl talk.... He insisted on telling what he thought was a joke prior to drawing. Like, I have said in the past, "where does he get such behavior?!"

Winner of 100$ gift certificate to Onlineshoes.com or a pair of New Balance 993 from Onlineshoes.com is P.O.M.

Romance Is What You Make It

Thank you so much for your wishes yesterday. That was us in the photo and was really the most romantic looking picture we have. Even that was staged by the photographer saying, "hold your veil like this, kiss him, kiss him again!" So to say Shane and I went to the beach last night and gazed into each others eyes all night would be a shit soup. First off it was freezing outside. Secondly, when I am hardcore WeWa I am an OPN(on program nazi). We started off the evening at Market Street Starbucks got 2 decaf non-fat lattes. By the way I slept last night I swear my barrista gave me extra caff. He probably threw in whole milk too just to eff with me. I know I would have if I was my barrista. Not even I can stand my smug looking face at times. I had packed us up some chicken salad sandwiches with some baggies of fruit and we hit a movie. I gave into romance a little bit by holding Shane's hand at the movie.

I am cautiously optimistic about my calf. I am beginning to see some real improvements as is my PT, Paula. We are looking at some easy runs next week. This week I have been Spinning along with bringing ST back into my life. Man, I thought I was sore yesterday. Today is BAD! I love it though, reminds me that the muscles are getting worked.

Viv's Movie Corner

I know you have been missing one of my famous(only famous in my mind) movie reviews. I hate that it took so long for this movie to be released in the Houston area. Two reasons I am jealous of New York is the early release of incredible films (while I am still waiting on "The Reader", and "Revolutionary Road") and of course Broadway. Not to mention New York would be close to momacita.

"Slumdog Millionaire" 3.75 stars out of 4 stars
I would label this film as extraordinary. You find yourself completely engaged in the life Jamal and his brother growing up in the slums of India and what they both learn to become from their struggles. You must see this film.

Happy Anniversary, Sweet!

January 13, 2001

Reflections For 2008 & Intentions For 2009

I love being a day late and a dollar short to everything so why would I post my reflections/goals for 2009 any differently....I have changed the look around here to reflect upcoming goals. I got a great new personalized masthead with the help of Sumy Designs at a reduced rate still available now. Susan was able to reflect me and my goals all on one sweet masthead. The scale is a constant struggle in my life, triathlon is who I have become; M-dot 70.3 is who I will be.

It is time to be honest foremost with myself and all of you. I know the weight had been coming back on now for a couple of months. I pulled out my spreadsheet where I track my weight weekly. Yep, since late July I have gained back 30lbs. (pounds dropped on sidebar reflects this)The first few months it was a steadily small gain then these last 2 months I blew it out of the water with a 15lb gain. This realization was shocking to me since I had been mostly in denial. I saw the numbers increase but thought that bitch scale has really lost it's mind. I mean I was burning over 1000 calories a day with all my workouts. I could still run. I could still swim. I could still cycle. I could still give the kind of SPIN classes that would have people leaving my class with Jello legs. Yet, my diet( by diet I mean food going in my body) was out of control.

The reality is that my "small" Gap jeans that I worked so hard to get into did not fit. The other reality was that while my endurance in distance was increasing my performance was sinking due to nobodies fault but my own. In July I was averaging in the 10:40ish pace range in my runs. That began to sink back to a comfortable 12ish pace. Sure, I struggled with other issues such as over training/exhaustion. I am no physicist, yet it does not take one to recognize that the more mass you have the more energy it takes to put it an object in motion and keep it in motion. I only have myself to blame. I am on a mission to lose the weight, not maintain and most definitely not gain. This mission is not only what calories are put out but the quantity and quality of calories I put in.

With all that being said, I must take note of what a special year 2008 was. With all accomplishments come failures and unforeseen disappointments, if not I would question who you are as a person. The accomplishments give us the courage to get ourselves through the failures with scars to learn upon. The unforeseen disappointments give us the strength to perceiver and strive for our accomplishments.

2008 accomplishments (linked to posts)

• I had attained enough self confidence to believe I could accomplish a triathlon.
• I took part in one of my dear blog buds Nancy's virtual races (does anybody miss Nanc as much as I do?). At that time it was my longest run at 6 miles.
• Completed my first triathlon.
• Completed my first 1/2 marathon.
• Threw out a couple of goals for the remainder of 2008, and actually accomplished a few of them.
• Got my Johnny G SPIN certification.
• I met Coach Bill who introduced to me to so many wonderful people. He always makes me feel welcome and sees potential in me.
• I began working with an athlete I admire, Coach K.
• Team Strive's group training, especially tri sis has helped me find the athlete inside.
• Completed my first & second Olympic distance triathlons.
• Hosted 2 weight loss challenges.
• Interviewed for Runners Lounge.
• Cleaned out my closet.

2008 failures & disappointments (linked to posts)

• Had a blog breakdown.
• Suffered injuries stress reaction 5th metatarsal; calf tear
• Experienced exhaustion/over training
• TX Man Oly Tri

  Overall the accomplishments surpass the failures and disappointments. It was a great year. I met amazing people. I lived. I learned. I actually took concern about my body, not giving up but persevering on is what I learned most. The old Viv would have never fessed up to the weight gain but avoid the scale and downward spiral back to 265lbs. with a potential of hitting even a higher weight than that. My athletic goals now keep my weight in focus for me. Athletic goals I had some failures, but I kept going. It is too interesting to see my body do things I never thought it was capable of.

  2009 will mean even more accomplishments. If I wrote here failures will not happen then I would be setting my self up for the biggest failure known to me, disappointing myself. I am sure there will be failures but with that will come even more well deserved accomplishments. My goals of weight loss & Ironman 70.3 are set in my mind, and yes I want it all.....

Free Entry To A Fast Runner: Houston Aramco 1/2 Marathon

I have been going through a few things lately. Lil' Buster has been ill but is beginning to improve today. My calf is healing nicely from the calf tear. I can now walk pain free. My PT, Paula told me the news I have been longing to hear today. I can start cycling/spinning next week and a few short runs in 2 weeks. I just have been longing for some good workouts to relieve some stresses that have been changing my whole self. I have been a moody grouchy chick, to put it nicely. Shane may have a few other choice words to describe my attitude.
I was feeling so positive that I planned to post my 2008 reflections and goals for 2009. Then I got the mail with a reminder that I will not be running the Houston Aramco 1/2 in less then 2 weeks. The dagger in my heart has been twisted again....

You have one week to post your comment on "Viv's Favorite Things & Giveaway" for your chance at $100 gift certificate to Onlineshoes.com.

Viv's Favorite Things & Giveaway....

This is when I find out if you really like me, by still stopping by when I have not been running by blogs(Shane is on vacation, and rolls his eyes at me if I am on the computer too much). If you know me you are aware that I am not running or cycling at all. I am still dealing with my calf injury. Being that it is still difficult to walk I would not be surprised if there is a tear involved, but too cheap(high deductible insurance) to get the MRI to prove it. I am working with my awesome PT and Strive teammate, Paula. I trust I will be back at it soon.

I have been thinking of doing a list of my favorite things for the holiday season for a while. Sorry it is not before Christmas but up before New Years, score! Since, I am the Oprah of the blog world according to Jon and hello, I go up and down the scale like that woman. All, I need to do is roll out with a wagon of chicken fat when and if I ever reach goal weight by hopefully next summer. Oh, and give all my readers a free car.....dream on! Without further due, the list.

1. Wigwam Ironman Thunder Pro Socks - It is just the right thickness, and they keep my feet blister free even if sometimes I put them on with damp feet. The Ironman logo keeps me motivated.
2. De Soto Tri Shorts - They fit me just right without the obscene look some tri shorts give me. They do not have those torturous extreme leg grippers, but never ever ride up. Trust me if tri shorts were going to ride up I would be the chick they ride up on.
3. Brooks Epiphany Running Shorts - This short gets bonus points for the slit in the leg that keeps riding up shorts in check, even on the track. I guess you are feeling that riding up is an issue for me.
4. The Stick - When used frequently and correctly can loosen up the tight muscles.
5. Body Glide - Chaffing is a thing of the past when you apply wherever things may rub.
6. Zoot Ultra Race - Lightweight running shoe. I use them for track workouts or short distances. I have to admit something magical does happen once they are on my feet.
7. Fuel Belt - Many different belts may aim to please but nothing compares.
8. Rehydrate - My new hydration of choice. Some of my cycle students have sworn there is speed in my sports bottle when I refuel with it.
9. Diorshow Waterproof Mascara - I never wear make up before a workout, but sometimes I have a class to teach at 5A and I don't want to look like a zombie. This is my mascara of choice to make my eyes pop and not run down my face while sweating gallons.
10. Polar F4 Heart Rate Monitor - Yes, I have the wonderful Garmin to track distance and running workouts, but my main focus is and should be calorie burn. When I am not running outside this is my go to gadget. The calorie burn is much accurate than the Garmin, and since I am a WeWa'er how many calories I burn is crucial to knowing my in and out of calories.

These are just my favorite things.... I am not being endorsed by these companies to tell you this, I wish I was, LOL!

Now it is your turn to tell me your favorite thing you can't be without on your training or exercise adventures. This is your oppurtunity to post a comment on my blog if you have just been lurking. Remeber you do not have to have a google account to comment. You can always choose name and put in your name. By posting your favorite thing in my comments section below you will be automatically entered for a giveaway on my blog sponsored by the wonderfully generous people at Onlineshoes.com. Onlineshoes.com has a plenitude of running shoes selection of all our favorite brands, and models including running apparel.

Now, don't get all jumping on the couch but Onlineshoes.com is giving one of my lucky readers who post their comment to this post a $100 gift certificate to their store, Onlineshoes.com or a pair of the New Balance 993.


Da' Rules:
~Contest only open to US residents. So sorry my Canadian pals & my fav kiwi.
~Must have a valid e-mail address.
~If you are not a regular commenter on my blog make sure you include your name in your comment.
~Only one entry per person.
~This contest will run for 2 weeks ending on January 12, 2009 at 6:00PM(CST).
~To be eligible the comment must be on this original post, not on reminder posts.
~Winner will be chosen by a drawing.
~Drawing will be videotaped to be posted on my blog.
~Good luck!

Feliz Navidad...I Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas, From The Bottom Of My Heart!!

I am sorry I have been MIA lately. I am dealing with a calf injury that has me just swimming for now(no spinning,cycling,running), and you know when I am a little down & out I go AWOL. The injury is canceling my plans for the Houston Aramco 1/2 Marathon in a few weeks. I am just staying positive a la' Tony Robbins and looking forward to Surf City but most importantly my main goal of New Orleans IM70.3.

I wish you, and your families a very Merry Christmas!

"So many people along the way, whatever it is you aspire to do, will tell you it can't be done. But all it takes is imagination. You dream. You plan. You reach. There will be obstacles. There will be doubters. There will be mistakes. But with hard work, with belief, with confidence and trust in yourself and those around you, there are no limits." - Michael Phelps

~Who would have thought that the guy with the barley there Speedos would say something so profound that it would resonate so deeply within me.

I'm Such A Hater

Actually, I am usually pretty cool. Like I see Beyonce with all her statueisc thick legged grace and I think, man no doubt I would be doing the booty shake in a leotard and heels if I was blessed like her. Shit, I still do the booty shake and, I am let's just say more blessed than her. LOL!

All my non hater ways went to the crapper this morning after Shane bounces in after his 5 mile run (have I mentioned his number got called on the Aramco Houston 1/2 waiting list so he will be doing the 1/2 in January(his first), (wow () inside of a () obviously grammar faux pas record for me). He is kinda doing the booty shake and all giddy, just a laughing while brewing coffee. I am still wiping the crust aways from my eyes and my hair is looking quite identical to a birds nest when he plants a kiss on me with a cheery, "good morning, sweet!" That bastard is on a running endorphin kick. I can totally recognize it. It is the same giddiness I pop back in my house with after a strong track workout.

Can you tell I am lacking my endorphins??? I warmed up yesterday with a couple miles at an easy 12 and felt great. Once I kicked into the 800's it took 3.25, yes 3.25 of them to bring back the seize in my right calf, which stops my run on the 4th 800. I am noting that intensity seems to get the calf aggravated. Cycling tends to keep the calf calm, which is good since I am working 6 classes this week. (bring on the HBBC points)

I am back to rubbing the knot out again and can now walk without the sexy limp that seize brings with it. Well, I got news for you calf, I am a super aggressive chic so I am going to see Dr. Mc Dreamy on Thursday to get PT into full swing. I will catch up with you guys later today between my two Spin classes, life has me a little busy these days.

Random Thought of The Day: Radio Shack has the geekiest guys working there, but they sure are knowledgeable and helpful.

Texans 13 Titans 12 Viv 0

• First day out of bed since Wednesday evening - score

• Free tix to the Texans including food & 'drinks' in the practice tent - score
• Not being able to drink 'drinks' because of antibiotics - score
• So windy that my hair was huge tranny mess - score
• The tix were in the nosebleeds making my congestion worst - score
• I sat in row M the 'girls' were in row N, fierce bra - score
• Have not worked out since Wednesday - score

Yet all this scoring = a big fat ZERO!

Going to bed early and hoping for a mo' betta week.

Busy week ahead will catch up with you guys soon....

Wordless Wednesday

I always enjoy when Lily on The Road does Wordless Wednesday except she holds true and types not one word. Me, I feel the need to explain. I guess that blows "wordless" out.

• I am sick
• I am trying to massage out my calf knots
• I am still reading a book from my tri sis to get a mental grip
• I have 2 Spin classes to work today (oh that is not depicted in the picture)
• I am yet to understand Facebook (oh not in the picture either).
  

Random Thought of The Day: My older cousins once offered me $1 a minute for up to 30 minutes if I could shut up when I was 11.

Yea, I didn't even walk outta that joint with a dollar.